Arranged marriages have two phases…When your parents realise that you have come of “marriageable age”, the first phase begins, also known as the ‘thinking phase’. And soon after ‘the finding phase’ follows. I never realised how tedious the whole process is till I happen to witness it this time at home. The victim is thankfully not me but my sister. For her the first phase began at the same age as I am now.
I have always believed in late marriages, but when I heard that my few college friends are already distributing their wedding cards… I thought of mentioning it to my parents and see what they have to say to it. I decided it was time for some serious talk with my parents, maybe they’d too started worrying about it but maybe they didn’t know how to break it to me!
It wasn’t long enough when I had the shock of my life from my uninterested parents!
I pleasantly brought up the topic of my friend’s parents looking for a match for their daughter and how it was time they too should start thinking about it. I was totally prepared to sit back n enjoy their manic reaction. But I suddenly became conscious of the pin-drop silence in the room. A few totally hushed minutes passed and then, my father turns around n asks me, “So… Who’s the guy?”
Well, I don’t understand why would my father fire such a question at me. What kind of sadism was hidden behind that question? I believe he was trying to insinuate me of my ineptness of having no boyfriend. Or that’s what my father thinks ;)… there was a weird grin on his face. As the conversation progressed, my father was seen frantically hoping that I already had a boyfriend with whom I was too much in love with and would go to any lengths to marry him. He asked each and every guy’s name that he had heard from me in the past few years (most of them being his figment of imagination). The list was fast diminishing… The search for that hint of blushing on my face when I spoke “his” name was unsuccessful. My dad expertly ended his side of the conversation by saying “Marriage…What marriage!!…you are just a kid now...Abhi aish karo beta...(Now’s the time for you to enjoy..)!!”
In following days of my vacation, all my mother had to say with respect to the topic was, “See Mrs M’s daughter is marrying an IIT educated guy; she didn’t bother her parents to look for a guy at all. In fact girls these days should elope, have an audacious affair…we won’t have any qualms... Any religion/caste/creed/community/etcetera will do as long as the boy is from a good family, well educated and earning well...”
Considering the “no-long-lasting-boyfriend” scenario, I had always been skeptical about this whole “marriage” thing, worried about whether I would ever get married, the sole re-assuring thought that helped me through those difficult times was that my parents would find a nice guy for their precious younger daughter and get her settled like they plan to do so for their elder daughter. And now I have been unceremoniously ditched by them...Hhmmppfff!!! This is so not fair!!! While my sister gets to just reject the guys, I have to LOOK for one for myself!
Mom-Dad, having happily turned the tables on me, quickly forgot about the whole thing. But I’m still fervently praying that some genuine sense dawns upon them and they think about “Log-Kya-Sochenge” and “Society-mein-humaari-naak-kat-jaayegi” type parents find a Oonche-Khaandan ka boy for me… :D :D. Whilst I prepare myself to have a controversial affair, as per my mother’s guidance, and write a chapter of my life!
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
The 8.15 a.m. bus
Its 8:15 a.m. and I stand here in the bus stop waiting for the office bus to arrive. I stand here in the same manner as I did a few years back waiting for my school bus and later for a rickshaw(or Chhavi's Kinetic) to ride me to college. Little did I know then that things would change so much in coming years; the sky under which I am standing seems to be looking at me and smiling .. It is perhaps the only thing that has acted as a witness .. watching the transformation of a loud, bubbly and a confused wreck into a quiet (not so much) professional.
I wouldn't blame the professionalism for the change though. It is destiny, or may be you could call it life. Yes Life, esoteric in the true sense, for one does not understand why you meet hundreds of people everyday, work with so many, and still remain lonely.
I am now in one of the corner seats in the bus, looking out of the window watching people trying to catch up with "life" ... It's almost an hour's journey and the only company that I have is my (uh.. ok kumar’s…) ipod . I seldom notice the person sitting next to me, for its going to be yet another stranger or may be you could say another acquaintance. It is annoying at times when I forget to charge my ipod, not because I am cut off from the melody but because I would now be thrust with thoughts of the solitary journey ahead.
I can't help thinking about a typical college day that always begins with all the familiar faces; you look forward for all your friends to get in the class, the reasonless giggles, the loud laughter that was stifled to avert the eyes of the lecturers and professors who would watch us as if we were their prospective prey for the day ... well as I said it was a different life then. The pleasant memories of college are in itself good enough to save me from the misery of the bus journey.
I notice that it is time for me to get down and flash my smile of acknowledgement to all the known strangers that I see as I approach my cubicle. A few of my colleagues greet me with their morning wishes and as always, we exchange our pleasantries. Discussions jump to the weekend plans and I wonder what I'd do over the weekend.
A few years back, weekends or weekdays didn't matter to me, I was always busy. I always stood doubting the authenticity of the wall clock that seemed to be running too fast to perceive its movement. Alas, now it seems as though my clock is suffering from some kind of paralytic attack. But again even now when the weekend gets over, it seems short.
There is a time in life, where one needs to go ahead, leaving behind your friends and carrying along only memories. You do make new friends, but then you never get the old close ones ... you do meet people who'd be so good to you that you could tell them anything and everything, but you do not find a person to whom you needn't say things ... friends who just know you. Occasional calls from such friends, have been the only thing that I seem to look forward to ...However, I cant help but notice the uneasy pause that lingers around the conversation ..A pause not because of the relationship, but because it is too short a duration to say everything, and of course you cannot completely rule out the paucity of words!
As I sip coffee from the coffee mug, waiting for my module leader to load me with work, I tell myself, may be there will be a day when things will change, when life will offer a rewind, a recap of all the events and I just have to wait.
But again there are times when you want to look ahead, know what life has to offer you. Each new friend will become old. And at every phase of life situation remains same… we miss and complain about the gone old days thinking they were better and more fun. Ok I’m bored of writing plus I have work now… bbye
I wouldn't blame the professionalism for the change though. It is destiny, or may be you could call it life. Yes Life, esoteric in the true sense, for one does not understand why you meet hundreds of people everyday, work with so many, and still remain lonely.
I am now in one of the corner seats in the bus, looking out of the window watching people trying to catch up with "life" ... It's almost an hour's journey and the only company that I have is my (uh.. ok kumar’s…) ipod . I seldom notice the person sitting next to me, for its going to be yet another stranger or may be you could say another acquaintance. It is annoying at times when I forget to charge my ipod, not because I am cut off from the melody but because I would now be thrust with thoughts of the solitary journey ahead.
I can't help thinking about a typical college day that always begins with all the familiar faces; you look forward for all your friends to get in the class, the reasonless giggles, the loud laughter that was stifled to avert the eyes of the lecturers and professors who would watch us as if we were their prospective prey for the day ... well as I said it was a different life then. The pleasant memories of college are in itself good enough to save me from the misery of the bus journey.
I notice that it is time for me to get down and flash my smile of acknowledgement to all the known strangers that I see as I approach my cubicle. A few of my colleagues greet me with their morning wishes and as always, we exchange our pleasantries. Discussions jump to the weekend plans and I wonder what I'd do over the weekend.
A few years back, weekends or weekdays didn't matter to me, I was always busy. I always stood doubting the authenticity of the wall clock that seemed to be running too fast to perceive its movement. Alas, now it seems as though my clock is suffering from some kind of paralytic attack. But again even now when the weekend gets over, it seems short.
There is a time in life, where one needs to go ahead, leaving behind your friends and carrying along only memories. You do make new friends, but then you never get the old close ones ... you do meet people who'd be so good to you that you could tell them anything and everything, but you do not find a person to whom you needn't say things ... friends who just know you. Occasional calls from such friends, have been the only thing that I seem to look forward to ...However, I cant help but notice the uneasy pause that lingers around the conversation ..A pause not because of the relationship, but because it is too short a duration to say everything, and of course you cannot completely rule out the paucity of words!
As I sip coffee from the coffee mug, waiting for my module leader to load me with work, I tell myself, may be there will be a day when things will change, when life will offer a rewind, a recap of all the events and I just have to wait.
But again there are times when you want to look ahead, know what life has to offer you. Each new friend will become old. And at every phase of life situation remains same… we miss and complain about the gone old days thinking they were better and more fun. Ok I’m bored of writing plus I have work now… bbye
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)